Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Cheney Jokes

Right after the shooting, Dick Cheney was overheard to say “Who’s leaking now Whittington?”

"I understand this was a Quayle shoot, & I swear he looked like Dan"

"Cheney's version of tort reform."

What did the lawyer say when the vice president asked him to go hunting?
"I'm game."

The reason Cheney shot Mr. Whittington was Whittington’s repeated ribbing that Bush is actually the “real president.”

Whittington and Cheney were having a disupute because Cheney wanted to torture the quail before shooting them and Whittington did not.

Q: What is Dick Cheney’s favorite vegetable?
A: Jim Brady.

“Now I understand why Dick Cheney keeps asking me to go hunting with him,” said Jim Brady. “I had a friend once who accidentally shot pellets into his dog - and I thought he was an idiot.”

"Cheney proves he is against having control of guns"

Dick Cheney doesn't have "hunting buddies", Dick Cheney has "guest targets".

Paramedics had to forcibly remove Karl Rove from trying to bury the body.

I don't think it was intentional for the simple fact that if Dick Cheney wants you dead, you're dead.

And that was a guy that Dick Cheney liked.


David Letterman: "Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: it's Dick Cheney."

The Late Show host also "noted" that before the hunting trip, Donald Rumsfeld had denied the victim's request for body armour.

Jay Leno on The Tonight Show said that after people found out Cheney had shot a lawyer, his approval rating went up to 92 per cent.

Over at The Daily Show, Jon Stewart noted: "... moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted - it's just not worth it."

This is completely unfair. How was Dick Cheney supposed to know that getting shot would hurt someone?


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